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 Transformations Message Forum : 2003
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michele lyn
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Posted: 22áJuneá2003 at 12:19am | IP Logged Quote michele lyn

im a hetero sexual crossdresser wondering if ther are any here to talk about problems keeping secret from significant other just dodged a bullet today i received a pair of beutiful breast forms by mail but i had used a mail service to get my items so my girlfrend of 12 years doesnt discover my secret but the company that sent out the breast forms sent it to my billing adress by mistake i hope. me and my girlfreind were leaving out of the house using side door we got in the truck started to back out she said ther is a package on the front steps are you expecting anything? i said no went to pick the package up put it in the house went back to the truck she asked wear did it come from i told her it was somthing i had ordered from before which she knew about i had ordered about a month ago was backordered she didnt ask anymore questions that was close! so if you order anything that you dont want to have the girlfreind to find out about be carefull ......
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Llisa
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Posted: 22áJuneá2003 at 9:44am | IP Logged Quote Llisa

Honey, I think I'd tell her sooner than later.If she finds out on her own she'll think all sorts of bad stuff and you'll have more trouble explaining it later.

IMHO it won't work if she does'nt know about it, and it may well work if she does.

Good luck.     Llisa
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Janey
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Posted: 22áJuneá2003 at 12:38pm | IP Logged Quote Janey

Michelle, It is very hard to do, but I told my wife about it last fall.  Rae just told hers about crossdressing too.   It makes it so much easier than to be sneaking around.   If she doesn't accept it, then she doesn't accept you.   You can't live your life as a lie, I tried that and all it did was make me miserable.  Life is 1000 times better now that my wife knows.   And if she had left, it would have still been better than living with the guilt of deceiving her.

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Llisa
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Posted: 22áJuneá2003 at 7:43pm | IP Logged Quote Llisa

Janey
Way to go girl, your advise is sound and true--hope it sticks.      Huggs     Llisa

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Donna Marie
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Posted: 22áJuneá2003 at 7:58pm | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

That is my next step.

July is a very full month for us. Every weekend is full.

But in August I am going to take my wife to a nice hotel somewhere.  Spend the day doing what she wants to do.  Come back have a nice meal, some wine and then we will go back to our room and I will open some more wine (for My nerves) and tell her.

More on this saga later.

But I agree the wife, g/f, or so have a right to know and the longer you wait the harder it gets.

Good Luck.

And, I would be calling the company that shipped to you and give them a piece of your mind.



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Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of Hope. Look well, therefore to this day.

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Scarlett
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Posted: 22áJuneá2003 at 9:18pm | IP Logged Quote Scarlett

You're only hurting yourself by not telling her. I've been with my GG for over six years, and I told her way back at the begining before I even dressed. Sharing this with her has only improved our relationship and given us some awfully fun times together. It's also kind of fun to have our own little secret going on around everyone else. If they only knew! No, it is not an easy thing to do, but it is worth it.

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rae_tgrl
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 11:36am | IP Logged Quote rae_tgrl

Michele..et all..after living in guilt, deceit..and not being totally honest with my wife..I told her June 11th that I was Transgendered..and did in fact dress-up as a woman. That was probably one of the hardest things in my life I had to tell her..because I just couldn't live like that anymore...and decided to put it all on the line. I also had a couple serious talks with my minister before that. I will say that if I hadn't been to the Be-All, and hadn't had the opportunity to talk to so many other girls about that subject..and of course I owe a very large debt of gratitude to my best friend Janey..I might not have told my wife. Well..the first 24 hours were "hell on earth"..the next 24 hours went a bit better..and on Friday the 13th my wife popped un-expectedly into my office and presented me with a single red rose..saying "sometimes a girl just has to get a rose"..and a note made out to "Rae" saying she loved me..and would try to work through this. I am extremely lucky and fornunate to have a such a forgiving and loving wife...and since only Janey, Caryn, Char, and Rachel knew about all of this..I thought it time to share this with the group...now that I know my relationship with my wife is on much more stable ground. This past Saturday night in fact I was able to get totally dressed in front of her..and she even helped me with part of my make-up and teased my wig..she wants to make sure that if I'm going to dress like a woman..she want's me to look my very best. She also gave me some clothes that didn't fit her anymore..and fit me like perfect! And..she is probably going with me to the Tri-Ess Garden Party on July 19th now. So..in retrospect..I wish I had "come out" to my wife years ago..but..it might have turned out different too...and you have to be able to lay it all on the line...and hope your significant other cares and love's you enough to get through it!

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jill
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 12:01pm | IP Logged Quote jill

Rae...

Thanks for sharing. I can't speak for others, but your story and those of others, are making it seem so much easier for me to be open with my wife.

Thanks again
Jill
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Janey
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 6:58pm | IP Logged Quote Janey

Rae, sorry I let the cat out of the bag before you had a chance.   My roots must be blonde.   Coming out to your significant other is very difficult.  It takes courage, and you are a very strong woman.   Can't wait to meet your wife in a couple weeks. 

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rae_tgrl
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 7:06pm | IP Logged Quote rae_tgrl

Janey..absolutely no problem girl...I was just waiting to make sure it was for real....and that I wasn't dreaming....and it's been a really great experience...to share the real me..Rae....with my wife...forgiveness, love, acceptance, tolerance...and "the rose"...

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Donna Marie
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 7:51pm | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

jilll,

From your post are we to believe you are going to tell your wife?

Let us know how it turns out.

If you are then i think these boards work.  The success stories are great.

I just hope the girls that read this and tell their so and get ridiculed instead of supported come back here for support.

The best therapy i could ever ask for is right here and it is free.



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Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of Hope. Look well, therefore to this day.

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Donna Marie
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 7:54pm | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

Janey,

May I hear a drum roll please.

Rae is at 49 posts.



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Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of Hope. Look well, therefore to this day.

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Donna Marie
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 7:56pm | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

jill,

you can slow down g/f.  You are ahead of me in posts.

I see I have some work to do.

39 right now...we'll see.



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Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of Hope. Look well, therefore to this day.

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SpecialK
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 8:00pm | IP Logged Quote SpecialK

How about a crash cymbal?  Seriously, way too much time is spent counting posts, have no desire to become a Dutchess and have already been a Mistress in the past.

*group huggs*

Karin

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Donna Marie
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 8:04pm | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

Karin,

Who's counting?  Me?  Just a little friendly banter amongst friends.  I don't want to be a mistress either.  I think we should have a vote and do away with mistress or change it to the first level.  I was a lady when i joined and I will never be a mistress except here.



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Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of Hope. Look well, therefore to this day.

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Jennifer
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 9:49pm | IP Logged Quote Jennifer

The reason SpecialK has no desire to become a Dutchess is because she rather be a hooker. 

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Donna Marie
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 10:07pm | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

Ouch,

I felt that flame all the way here on the western corner of IL.

And we even have the Mississippi River to douse the flames and the flame got by that.

Special K is much to pretty to be a hooker.



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Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of Hope. Look well, therefore to this day.

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SpecialK
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 10:51pm | IP Logged Quote SpecialK

Hmmmmmm........hooker........perhaps.  Actually, I'd rather be a Go-Go dancer on one of Hunter's boxes. In reality, I've already been there, done that as well........as shown on DanceOne videos played coast to coast during 2001 & 2002.  

Okay, perhaps we need all need to lighten up on the user levels. I think Princess Jennifer has done a spendid job, she will never be able to please everyone, so I vote......leave it alone. Thanks for all the efforts Jenn.

Karin

 

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Donna Marie
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 11:00pm | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

Please forgive me if you received the wrong idea.

I am by no means bashing the princess.  She has done a very wonderful job.  Thank You Jenn for all your efforts. I sincerely mean that.

But you know a woman can't just leave well enough alone.  We always have to try and change things.

Democracy, I was just giving my thoughts.  

Didn't mean to upset anyone.



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Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of Hope. Look well, therefore to this day.

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Donna Marie
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Posted: 23áJuneá2003 at 11:02pm | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

Special K,

I would like to see you as a go-go dancer in one of those cages. 

I would even come up there with you and we could crash to the floor.

But, from what I hear about the smoke at Hunters that is not in my future.



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Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of Hope. Look well, therefore to this day.

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